what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
