so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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