my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
