I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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