i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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