I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
