you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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