ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
