listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
