This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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