this boner is exhausting
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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