She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
