Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
