if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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