It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
