I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
