i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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