girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize