i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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