Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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