Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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