Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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