I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
