He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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