my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
