glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
