They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Boobs are out for the taking
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
