Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
