R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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