I wish I could teleport
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
