Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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