your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize