in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
