Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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