Who did Billy Mays play for?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
