What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
