Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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