I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
