D3 body, D1 cock
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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