You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
