This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
