the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
