Soap is not a condiment
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
