Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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