i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
