so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
third nipple confirmed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dicks are not precious.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
