I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
