Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
