My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
