I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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