I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
