what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
