we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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