Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
