for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize