dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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