he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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