Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
