Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
