you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize