If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize