hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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