where am i from again
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
