hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
