Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
